


5 times quackity joked about dying, 1 time he didn't

by ultimate_writer



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (Slightly), Alexis | Quackity Dies, Alexis | Quackity Needs a Hug, Alexis | Quackity-centric, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Big Q was a mother figure to Tommy and Tubbo, Caring Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Caring Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dream Team SMP Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Duck Hybrid Alexis | Quackity, Everyone Loves Alexis | Quackity, Everyone Needs A Hug, Floris | Fundy Needs A Hug, Heavy Angst, Hurt Alexis | Quackity, Hurt GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), I'm a mess sorry, Karl Jacobs Needs a Hug, M/M, Mentioned Cara | CaptainPuffy, Mentioned Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Minecraft, Other, Out of Character, Past Alexis | Quackity/Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Alexis | Quackity, Sad Darryl Noveschosch, Sad Ending, Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude is Alexis | Quackity's Parent, Self-Destruction, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Worth Issues, Suicide, Swearing, Traumatized Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Winged Alexis | Quackity, big q is dazai now, definitely didn't cry while writing this, fuck there is not enough quackity angst out there, he made everyone thought he was joking around, hell i started crying during the creation of the plot, i think almost everyone will be sad at his funeral, jschlatt is kind of a good guy in this guys, like dark era dazai now, like fr, lmao not me killing big q and making everyone sad haha, mf did it finally haha, okay so, so that's why he's traumatized and depressed now, so you can expect ooc, there is alternate ending thing, tommy saw big q die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29611173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimate_writer/pseuds/ultimate_writer
Summary: in which big q is completely, mentally unstable. it seemed like he was rapidly losing his sense of humanity as time passed by, although that too was his own fault, after all. he began to isolate himself for longer periods of time, and almost his whole body was covered in bandages. it's like he's the shell of his former self.he jokes around about how he wants to just "end-it-all", all while making all of his close acquaintances and relatives uncomfortable and definitely not giving a damn about it.hah,it was all fun and games until he wasn't joking anymore.orquack quack is a suicide maniac and doesn't give two shits about what people feel about it. he gets comforted and all but lmao who cares time to die mate 😔
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Darryl Noveschosch, Alexis | Quackity & Eret, Alexis | Quackity & Everyone, Alexis | Quackity & Floris | Fundy, Alexis | Quackity & GeorgeNotFound, Alexis | Quackity & Jschlatt, Alexis | Quackity & Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Alexis | Quackity & Ranboo, Alexis | Quackity & Ranboo & Techoblade, Alexis | Quackity & Sam | Awesamdude, Alexis | Quackity & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Alexis | Quackity & TommyInnit, Alexis | Quackity & Wilbur Soot, Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Alexis| Quackity & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 123





	5 times quackity joked about dying, 1 time he didn't

**Author's Note:**

> ⚠ this is only an alternative universe ⚠ 
> 
> • awesamdude helped dream escape the prison, nobody but tommy & big q knows  
> • jschlatt and wilbur are alive, they were just imprisoned for a while before moving on (doing their own thing)  
> • quackity is extreme emo kid now lmao  
> • big q lost trust in everyone (except *tentatively* tommy, tubbo & ranboo)  
> • nobody can be resurrected in this AU, nor is it possible  
> • awesamdude pulls philza on big q so that's sad  
> • (but he realized it and now he's trying to fix his relationship with big q)  
> • captain puffy is jschlatt's elder sister  
> • there's an alternative ending of this story
> 
> lowercase intended

**tw; mentions of abortion, mentions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, mentions of suicide attempts, self-harm, etc.**

how did this happen? 

how _any_ of this happened?

how did he make this far? 

_god._ he genuinely despised his existence for making this far. 

he wasn't alive to witness this chaos unfold and destroy his sanity bits by bits.

he stared into nothingness as some of his 'friends' were running around searching for a certain green teletubby-looking asshole. 

now, you'd be wondering; _why would they search for someone who's been locked up in one of the most dangerous prisons in the whole SMP?_

well that's the point.

that green sunnovabitch escaped – and guess who helped him escape? 

no, not technoblade, that bitch wouldn't probably even give two shits if everyone died or something.

(more like _he_ would kill everyone if anyone hurts philza)

anyhow, the one who helped him escape was certainly someone nobody would even bat an eye on.

sam, or awesamdude being his formal title. 

that man was his _world – his **everything.**_

it never bothered him that his **father** rarely ever acknowledged his existence. 

(oh, but it did. he will never forget how he prioritized everything that wasn't him. ) 

but that was not what broke him.

it was the fact that that the man **freed the fucking devil who ruined everyone's lives.**

just what did he see in that bitch that made him feel sympathy-?

oh wait. 

how could he forget dream's oh-so wonderful acting skills?

quackity already figured that he probably guilt-tripped his 'dad' so terribly that he had to help him out. 

oh well, it seems like he was always a second choice to everyone and everything. 

it started to feel like if he and **literally** anyone else were dying – even technoblade – he'd help the other instead of him. 

( useless, _useless, **useless.**_ )

well, that sounds sad now, isn't it? quackity never wanted to be a victim who seeks pity and yet he's sounding like one. 

( why does god not want him to die quickly? fate sucks )

damn, all he wanted was the sweet release of death on his own hands – is it too much to ask for? 

i mean, all he wanted was to end his own misery and perhaps the roots of problems he's responsible for. 

he's tired of keeping up that _stupid, chaotic and energetic_ big q they all know. 

he's tired of getting backstabbed all the time.

he's tired of being seen as a pitiful creature all the time. 

he's tired of living up to everyone's expectations. 

**he's tired of everything.**

pain would've a pleasant answer if it weren't for the fact that his _whole_ body is covered in bandages. 

( well, except his face and feet. ) 

he was fucking _embarrassed_ of those scars on his face, it always reminded him of a certain pinkette. god, he didn't want to seen as a pitiful being 'who's been through enough' or something. he's trying to prove himself worthy and one of the things that's holding him back is his _goddamned emotions._

look now, his own emotional wreck caused to choose such decisions that he immediately regretted.

look now, his own emotions _caused_ him to lose one life. 

but yeah, in the end it's all his fault. 

god, why didn't his 'dad' just aborted him? everything would've been _so_ much easier.

maybe his mother wouldn't have died, maybe everyone would've been happy, 

_maybe jschlatt wouldn't have been elected,_

**_maybe l'manberg wouldn't have been blown up,_ **

**_maybe tommy wouldn't have been exiled,_ **

**_and everything would've been okay._ **

"big q, are you okay? you're zoning out again."

the aforementioned male immediately snapped out, after realizing he wandered off in his thoughts whilst chatting with fundy. quackity let out a laugh that sounded almost _too real._

"yeah man, i'm definitely poppin' off!"

**Author's Note:**

> alright, i'm sorry for the short prologue  
> i swear my future chapters will be longer
> 
> my uploading schedule has been a bit rocky due to exams
> 
> hopefully, you can bear with my slow updates for a bit ^^


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